WTF!

Okay so have not been so good at the blog thing these last few days! It just seems when I start finding my groove someone poors a big ole pile of tar in it!! you know what I mean i am sure.
Lets see where should I begin. Well first of all I am way glad you are in grad school. When do you start? What does your mom have to do to get you to grad school--like finding someone else there.
Your emails between Kate and you are mind boggling to say the least and have so much more ability to understand where you are coming from. She really did breathe your soul at times. You are the person you are today because she touched your inner being and is still connected to you--no doubt.
Its kind of like jordan told me the other day. She would not give up all the bad things that have happened in her life because it was those things that have shaped her. Even if she could change it all. After reading Kate's emails, and it is something that i will do several times, it is truly apparent that she shaped the good and the bad in you.
I found myself as I was reading those wondering if you had ever shared those with your mother. I find it remarkable that you have saved them all. It points to the depth of your relationship with her. I know truly understand-i think- where your pain is at and what you miss so much. You will never have that same connection again with someone. You will connect with people again but it will always be different. Where I got in trouble with my grief stuff was trying to find that same connection. That could not happen because what i had was special and no one was going to meet those expectations. Once I started to internalize that I could start having healthy relationships with people-- for the most part. Still not perfect at but working on it.
This week is spent packing my mom up and getting her moved to her new place admist her pissing off all the neighbors. By the way for future reference there is an FCC law that says you can not ban dishes if they stay within a certain size requirement. Oh my mother!!!
Saturday is supposed to be the big move. Carpet layers are there today and Denise and i will try to move some stuff tonight. She wants the bed that she bought for my dad and she wants it set up. i am not sure how it goes together because we took it down so fast for the hospital bed to go in there. Really, can it be that hard????
Sorry I have not been real great at blogging.
Summit