In Response...

K...Kate always used to tell me that I was an old soul. Mom still reminds me of it. It's why people my age don't understand me. For the most part I am okay with that. It has allowed me to have many friends that are older than I...from my sister, to Martha, to you...it is a gift. I get to see a different part of the world. Actually Kate used to tell me that I should have been born in the 60's or 70's. She said I would have made a great hippy (yaknow though one that shaves their pits and legs though :) because the stinky pits don't work for me). She also used to tell me that anger was just hurt and sadness manifesting into an easier emotion. I agree completely. It is much easier for me to express anger and outrage than hurt and disappointment. I have quite the temper sometimes. Also, I have no advice for Jordan on being young with peers that don't understand you because they are such young souls. It's hard. It sucks sometimes. I hope that if she ever has trouble understanding it she will call. I will be here. My only suggestion would be to look inside herself and know that it is not HER. There is NOTHING wrong with HER. Even when it seems like that is the only answer. I've struggled myself with it.

Next...you know my mom. You have seen how she reacts to situations. We were not good with emotion outside of ourselves. I will rarely cry in front of my father or his family...including my sister, which I actually think now is a little weird. If anyone in that part of the family were going to be okay with me crying it would be my sister or other mom, but alas. Nope. It's funny though because when Kate was here I had no problem with emotions. She was very good about knowing what my needs were and would promptly remove me from the situation if she felt I needed it. When I did cry she would take me aside, not because I should be ashamed of crying, but moreover for my own comfort. I don't know very many people who are comfortable about crying openly. I have only openly cried once and that was at my grandfather's funeral. At the point that I lost it I buried my head in my mom's lap (I was only 19...so I vaguely understand what Jordan's going through). I didn't want my family to see me fall apart even then.

I too am saddened by that fact that LF only seems to be able to do one at a time. Especially when the one she is doing right now is in the profession she is in (yes mother I know...I ended a sentence with a preposition). I would think that her "one" would also be more comfortable in her own skin. I don't understand this entire uncomfortable thing. Especially where it is that she is uncomfortable being around you and D, but only when there are others involved...I guess I'm like it's me and my mom - wtf is there to be uncomfortable about?!? I would think most people would be uncomfortable around you, LF, and I because we are such strong, mouthy personalities. We are LOUD and speak our minds. I mean my GAWD my mother is quiet and reserved...she only speaks her piece if she thinks it's worth speaking! Again...that being said, K, I have time for more than 1. I have time for many. Do you feel that you can speak openly to me although I am such a young physical being? I told mom I worry about people talking to me because I am so young. Many of my people seem to feel weird about spilling their guts to someone that is young enough to be their child. What do you think? Kiss of death for the therapy career?

AND LAST...death certificate...I don't know wtf is up with that! They should have a different name for things that are not fun than certificate. I mean you get a birth certificate, marriage certificate (oops but only if you're straight...working on that one), certificate of merit, etc....maybe it could be a death record or death voucher or death permit :) or death warrant...warrants are always bad!

xo, J